John IV

“Interesting point” He replied.

“You know, it’s getting kind of late. I really should go.”

“No, you don’t have to leave”

I stand up, purse in hand “Yes I really do. Thank you for the beer though” I give him a kiss on the cheek, he said he’d call me, and I walked out of the apartment and closed the door. I practically flew down the stairs freaked out. It wasn’t that the kinky stuff scared me, it was his attitude. Something just doesn’t seem right here, and I don’t feel the need to need to figure out what. He is living his life and he is making his own choices. But it is obvious that he is living some sort of double life. Maybe his wife or girlfriend just doesn’t share his interests, and so he is going outside of his relationship to satisfy his curiosities and fetishes?

At this point you are probably wondering why the heck I care so much. Why don’t I just mind my own business? Well those are two very good questions but lately I have been approached more and more by married men. At first I thought it was about me, that I gave off some sort of trashy vibe or something. But after talking to a few of these men I’m learning that it isn’t about me at all. Nor is it about their wives but completely about them. Not surprising since these particular men are thoroughly selfish egomaniacs. However, while it seems as though it isn’t any of my business, or any other single woman’s business on the exterior it really becomes our business if we are interested in having any type of loving relationship in the future.

So many of my friends and family have been broken by infidelity. I’m not going to try to cure it or fix it, I’m just going to try to understand and possibly avoid it myself. Meaning, keep myself from cheating in the future (I’m not stupid I don’t think this is a gender specific problem) but also how to identify someone who will not feel the need to cheat in the future, if that is even possible. Not just so that it doesn’t happen to me, but so that it doesn’t happen to my loved ones and hopefully by finding a faithful, kind man raise boys and girls who will grow up to be well adjusted without the trust issues so many of us have today. And if it is inevitable, then maybe find some sort of coping mechanism.

I don’t know if I’m the only one that cares about this sort of thing. If I am then this blog will be an excellent release of some frustration. But if anyone else is curious, feel free to tune in or email me and let me know what you think.

I wasn’t going to ask John any more questions. He had called a few days later and I told him that we were just two different people and that we just weren’t right for each other. Whether it is to just have fun or anything else. He sent an email a few days later reading:

“You need to rid yourself of these friends of yours. They are not good for you and associating with them only brings you grief and misery. You need to stop drinking so much. You need to stop eating unhealthy. You need to exercise and get HEALTHY AND POSITIVE things into your life. Dear, you NEED a dominant presence in your life: me. Being dominant isn't just about spankings and handcuffs. It's also about guiding you, mentoring you and making you a better person. It's about boosting you up, not knocking you down. Your submissive side is not just about the bedroom either. Being submissive means you take pride and strive for excellence in your submission but also in YOUR EVERY DAY LIFE.  Come over tonight. I'll make dinner. I will guide you and offer support and get you on the right track. There will probably also be a mild D/s session. It will be different from anything you've experienced before, however.

Well? Whadaya say?”

I told him I had plans. His response:

“This means you will be going out tonight, eating fatty and unhealthy appetizers and of course, having several drinks.  On a MONDAY night.  Not good. You insist on doing these self destructive things”

Well in case you are wondering I never went over to Johns. He was a little too intense for me and even though at this point I desperately wanted to ask him questions and get straight answers from him, he was just freaking me out. Instead of going to see him, I went out with one of my lovely girlfriends. He was right though. We ate unhealthy food, sushi and drank a ridiculous amount of wine. We talked about how insane men are and flirted with a bar tender. It was a LOVELY evening and I wouldn’t have changed a moment of it.

Now that I can’t ask John about anything anymore I’m going to find another source of information. Where should I turn? Let’s think now. Where can I go to talk to a bunch of married men and ask them why they want to cheat on their wives and families? Where could I even find a pool of men that would even admit to being married and wanting to cheat? Ah… yes of course. It’s so obvious… Craigslist :)